Today
It seems like it has been a little bit since I felt that I had the wherewithal to put my scattered thoughts down in written form. With the onset of the holidays, the finalization of my divorce and just the business of life and my four amazing kids, I have been somewhat retreated from the online life, sometimes going days without using my computer except for work necessities.
My son and I were having a conversation yesterday and he replied “Life is hard!” Smiling, I looked at him and said “I know”. He then go this look and said, “I know you do dad”. That was all that was said, but as a father, it was one of those moments that you realize something clicked and you connected with your child. You mentally celebrate a moment of maturity you just witnessed in your child. TBut then your heart also breaks for the realization of knowing what your child has experienced over the past couple of years.
This morning, as I sat with coffee in one hand and a close friend across the table, at Starbucks, we were talking about my childhood and my heart broke as the deep sense of just wanting to talk with my Dad about life. To get his perspective. My mom left when I was young and my Dad retained custody of my brother and I and with the help of my grandparents navigated much the same waters I feel lost in today. We never really talked about it while he was alive, and maybe I never knew to appreciate it, but I do today. He did well. He kept it together and eventually married a wonderful woman, my stepmother, who loved and raised me as her own child!
So now your saying “yea, your thoughts are scattered!” And would reply yes and no. You see, over the years I have often viewed God, or personified Him much in perspective of my own father . . unconditional love, giving, sacrificing and yet also so perspective of my own relationship with my children . . the disciplinarian, the guide, instructor, helper, teacher. God. My strength, source and refuge for life. No, not a crutch, but a very present help when I find myself in need. He is my father. My provider. My healer. My teacher.
Psalm 54:4 Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.
Romans 8:31-39
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
