Suffering Loss
Recently I have begun to go through counseling. This has been a strange thing for me as I always thought I was OK and do not need it. Interestingly enough though as I sit in the counselors office and begin to share where my current thought processes are and what I feel, I listen to what I say and then hear the counselor’s comments and think, “Man I should have done this a lot sooner”.
For those of you who have benefited from sharing your thoughts with a friend, partner, pastor, or counselor, you understand what I am writing about.
Anyway as I rolled through my first couple of sessions the counselor said, “Wow, you have suffered a lot of loss”. As I have pondered that over the last couple of weeks, I have been personally challenged in the fact that I have developed an aversion to loss. I have allowed a slow creeping fear of losing things settle over me. Additionally I think I want to lump in failure in that same category, for what is failure but the loss of a dream.
Now I know that none of us like to experience loss, but how should we handle it?
I personally found myself so consumed with the loss and fear of loss, that I missed what was going on in front of my eyes. For example, my father passed away a couple of years ago. I still think about that and feel the absence and sometimes just find myself sitting and crying. The reality of it is though he was sick for awhile with cancer. His pain stopped. At his funeral I was able to visit with my two brothers and sister with whom I have had very limited relationship over the last 15 years. During that time, we rekindle some relationship and I have able to have more regular dialogue over the last year than over the last 15. So really did I lose? I think not. Sure I miss my dad, but I have all that he instilled in me of himself with me daily. Things like, when you fall, get up and go again.
Do I still feel loss, do things hurt, yes. Can I go on? Yes. Can I benefit from the loss? Yes. Sometimes the gain is greater than the loss itself. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. (John 12:24)
I love the story of Joseph and how through all of his hardships, he continued on to see and be all God had for him. I love when he revealed himself to his brothers and he said – “Don’t be mad at yourselves for selling as a slave, God wanted to save lives, so he sent me ahead”. Wow now that is taking the right perspective. Amazingly though it would be many years from the time he was sold to slavery until he saved those lives. How are you handling your loss today?
