Life Thoughts
Too Hard?
You ever lost something? Had those times when you look and look and cannot find what your missing? Then all of the sudden you see it, right out in the open, in plain sight. You feel foolish. How many times has that happened. My dad used to say “You cant see the forest because of the trees” or “If it was a snake it would bite you” or “you cant even see the nose on your own face”. Frustrating isnt it. I mean think about it. Looking yet unable to find.
That happens to me alot. I think it has alot to do with being so fixated that you miss the obvious.
I find reading the Bible is much the same. I have so many notions about things that often miss what it says. I cant tell you how many times I have read a passage I have read many times before, yet WHAM! It jumps out at me like never before. Now I have heard many notions about that scenario, yet I tend to believe that is one of the ways God speaks to me. Its almost as it is alive, adapting to speak to me where I am.
When such a moment happens, I often stop and try and reflect on what it is I am seeing, and why now?
Today it was as I was reading through Genesis 18 and God came to Abrahams tent, in the form of three men. Abraham carries on a conversation with God, yet repeatedly it describes three men. At one point the three me stop and God asks “should I reveal to Abraham what I am about to do?”. I thought it was interesting that it refers to the three but all conversations imply one. Kinda makes that early part of Geneiss where God says “Let us make man in our image” make a little more sense. No God is not crazy and He’s not wearing a blue tooth device. He is just that Glorious that He can reveal Himself as three people. Kinda like Father, Son and Holy Spirit stuff!!!
This is a really cool passage, because as God tells Abraham what is about to happen to his wife, Sarah starts to laugh, disbelieving that God could give an old barren woman a child. Funny thing is God asks Abraham about her out about doubt and asks “Is anything to hard for the Lord?”. Yep, thats me, I often doubt, dont think its gonna happen. Then WHAM! He calls me out. I love how what happens next. Sarah tells a big boldface lie straight to God’s face. But
He doesnt strike her dead or punish her, simply confronts her with the truth. He doesnt withhold the child, a true blessing, even amidst her doubt and sin.
God is wonderful!! He loves us beyond compare and and like me and Sarah, if you doubt or even sin, it doesnt change His love, nor does it change what He has in store for you and your future. Be assured God is for us and truly “Nothing is too hard for the Lord!”
I was blind, but now I see!
For most of my life I have enjoyed relatively good health, very little issues. Sadly that is changing as I begin to get older. About 9 months ago, I began to experience slight difficulty reading small print. I must have looked quite funny, often moving objects closer and further from my eyes until I could focus in on the words.
As the months moved on, I began to get really frustrated, even reading the newspaper began to be a challenge. Finally, I broke down and wen to the optometrist. What do you expect? Yep it is time for glasses. Apparently when you hit your mid-forties, the eyesight is one of the first things to start deteriorating. Fortunately it was not too bad, but now I have a pair of reading glasses, and must wear then to read.
So why tell you all that? Amazingly, when I put on my new glasses, I began to see such detail. Not only were the words clear, but I could fine detail in everything I looked at. Then I realized that how over time as my vision began to change the changes were so subtle that I never realized what I was loosing focus of, until I reached the point of not seeing alot of things at all!
I’d love to say that my eyesight was the only area of my life that was like that, but truth be told, I feel like most of my like is like that. I know my failed marriage was like that, living life I failed to notice the slight changes in my marriage until one day it was over. My spiritual life is much the same. As I roll along, going to church each week, reading the Bible, praying, caring for others , etc., I realized that I was again, missing much of the detail, kinda like the apostle said “having a form of Godliness, but denying the power of it!”
As I thought about that, I looked up that scripture, here is the full context (2 Timothy 3 1-5): But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.
Man! talk about hitting home! As I read that it was like a checklist of my life. NO, not everything on the list, but even one item puts me on that list. Then my heart saddend as I read that statement – Have nothing to do with such people. Wow! That’s a lot to consider, more than I really wanted to. I just wanted to be able to see better!
Truth is, I think I am seeing more clearly today, here is my thoughts:
Lovers of themselves – Check – I like treating myself, little indulgences that make me feel good about me!
Lovers of money – Check – Amazing how my focus is a lot on what I have and what I can get, and especially how to keep others from getting it from me!
Boastful – Check (but only sometimes 🙂 ) – I love to think and talk about how smart and skilled I am, I love to talk about me!
Proud – Check – I want recognition, I dont want to admit my weaknesses or failures
Abusive – ?? – thats a tough one, I dont think I am, but If i think on it, there are probably things and people I dont treat well.
Disobedient to parents – Nope – I am ok on this one, doesn’t mean I always was. I can remember a time when I was. Now I live several thousand miles away and my dad is deceased so.
Ungrateful – Check – Man this hits me all the time. I want a nice house of my own, yet i have a good house to live in. I want a better job, yet I make more than I need to survive. I want a new car, yet my car runs great and hardly ever needs repair. Etc. Etc. Etc. too many things like this.
Unholy – Check – Holiness! Wow I miss the mark so far on this one, just in my thoughts alone, not even considering my actions.
Without Love – Check – This is a tough one, as i believe it includes compassion and mercy!
Unforgiving – Check – Again a tough one. I want to be forgiving, but the heart hearts so much some days and the anger festers.. Really pray for me on this one.
Slanderous – Dont think so – I think I am ok with this one, I live such an isolated life not much to gossip about!
Without Self Control – Check – I bump against this one alot in many areas.
Brutal – No – I dont see myself as brutal, probably quite the opposite on this one.
Not lovers of the good – ??? – Perhaps this one, as I consider some of my choices these days tend to not be good.
Treacherous – No – I think I am a safe person, but some might disagree.
Rash – Sometimes – Somethings I find I am very patient and long-suffering, and others — Get it Now!
Conceited – Check – I once thought I was conceited, but conceit is a fault, and i have none! 🙂
Lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God – Check – Not even going to comment here.
So there you have it. As I list them out – bad eyesight! How about you, how would you answer these? I want to see clearly!
Amazing Grace . . . . I once was blind but now I see!
blessings.
Relationship Challenges
Well, it’s been just about a year since I made my last post. I decided after taking a bit of a reprieve from online presence I would get back to business!
I have had many thoughts, ideas and discussions over the past year, so I feel like my blogging brain is loaded up for a bit and now its time to put some of it out there.
You ever felt like you were in a relationship where there was a lack of trust? Things like you’d stay up at night wondering if the other person was faithful? Wondering if they had your best interest in mind? Curious if you were just being used ? Wondering when the shoe or hammer was going to drop?
Yet in that same instance you longed to trust. Desired to believe the best! Wanted to not worry. Thought, “what’s wrong with me, that I can’t trust”?
That’s me! That’s where I am with God! I feel like such a hypocrite each Sunday as I stand in church and sing words to songs like “He is faithful, He is able!”. I know in my heart there is truth there, but in the same instance I cry out “Ha!”.
As I think about it, I know He is. It’s just that I have been angry, felt betrayed, and even abandoned by Him. No matter how much I prayed, nothing availed! I wallowed in despair and frustration.
I am no longer of that mindset, yet I was for so long that it is hard to come back in the right frame of mind. Doubt still lingers.
The funny thing is human relationships are the same way. We spend so long in a broken existence that we don’t really understand how to relate well.
Perhaps it could stem from the fact that we fail to relate well with the creator and therefore it is impossible to relate well with His creation.
My thought : It is impossible to have healthy earthly relationships when the Divine relationship is out of kilter.
So . . . If you find yourself struggling with the earthly relationships, stop and consider the divine. How are things with you and your Creator (better than me I hope!)?
End of the Rope
You ever felt like that? that you have reached the end of your rope?
I have, and today is one of those days!
As I ponder (East Texas translation of “thinking about”) my current situation and struggles, I was reminded of a poster that my high school math teacher kept on the front of his desk.
The poster on Coach Chadwicks desk was of the cute little kitten, its claws dug deep into a knot that was tied in a rope. The kittens feet were dangling and he had this look of desperation on his face. The idiomatic expression underneath was “When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!” Now as usual, the thought of this kitten hanging sent my mind off on a brief side bar. I began to wonder, what happens if you get to the end and there is not enough slack to tie a knot? What happens if you reach the end before you realize it and you just slide off? What happens if the rope is super stiff and you cant shape the knot? Etc. etc. You get the idea.
Funny how such a simple phrase “End of the Rope” can be so true sometimes. The idiom is referring to being at the limit of our patience or endurance. You know we have all felt like we were there or currently find ourselves at that spot. We generally find ourselves there when we have exhausted all other means, when our solutions are not working and the situation doesn’t look resolvable. Somehow we have come to believe in that false philosophy that says, “God helps those that help themselves.”
As I desperately search for help and resolution to my souls delima, the reality is I am unable to help myself, and often I cant find anyone who can comfort and aid my soul. The end of the rope usually is literally the end of me or the end of self. I cannot imagine, nor can I find anywhere in scripture that God says “Buck, If you can’t do it on your own, I’m not going to help.” Imagine if that were really true, that God’s help only comes once we help ourselves! He wouldn’t be much of a God would He. Nor would we really need Him if we could always just help ourselves.
It is when we are broken and crushed that we come to see that we need God. It is then that God is ready to enable us to face the situations in our lives. David said, “Then they cry unto the LORD in their trouble, and he bringeth them out of their distresses” (Psalm 107:28). God said, “Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not” (Jeremiah 33:3). David declared, “The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit” (Psalms 34:18).
If you have come to the end of your rope, it can actually be a good place to be. Jesus said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:3). If you are DESTITUTE (everything is falling in on you), and you have come to the end of your rope and there is nothing left to hold on to, then it can be a good place.
I am holding to that today. I am waiting on God, because I am out of solutions, I am out of answers, I am poor in spirit and I desperately need the kingdom of heaven today and His salvation, His healing my troubles and heart.
What about you?
This is what the LORD says: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD.” Jer 17:5 (NIV)
He who trusts in himself is a fool…Prov 28:26 (NIV)
