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A Load of Manure
Yesterday my kids and I attended our last regular service at the church we have attended for the last five years. It was a very heartfelt time as we said goodbye to the people we have come to love and know and consider family. Over the years we have had wonderful opportunities to hang out, eat, talk, share our faith, share our struggles and love one another.
The church gave each of my kids a small gift and to our family a very generous gift. I was taken aback by the love and care of so many people. The whole church gathered around my children and i and laid hands on on us and wept and prayed many kind blessings.
As the service was concluding one gentleman approached me and said he had a vision during the prayer time. He described it as my family was a field, rough empty and barren. He said that over the last period of time it has been like a load of manure has been dumped on us and it has been rough. The he took a moment and offered the encouragement that even though the manure has been an awful thing once it is mixed in our lives we will be fertile and abundant again. I took encouragement from those words because I sure have felt like I have been under the manure pile for awhile.
As I was traveling for work today I spent a bit of time reflecting on what he said and I was again touched by the vision of being fertile and abundant again. I also was taken aback for a moment as I believe I saw another side to the vision. The field rough and barren (except for a pile of weeds) has this big pile of manure sitting on it, but then a tractor begins to roll over it, breaking it up and mixing the soil, manure and weeds all together and ploughs one over and under and mixing. At this point the manure is no longer manure, but fertilizer. As the tractor rolls past it is hard to distinguish between the old soil and the fertilizer as they become intermingled, but the weeds are still obvious. Then the farmer comes back and begins to rake out the weeds.
If you didnt get the picture it is this: There still has to be a breaking even when we feel like we are under the manure pile and the weeds still need tending to.
In Matthew 13, Jesus refers to this kind of soil as the good soil, the kind that will bear fruit. I walked away challenged and desirous to be that soil, but knowing I will have to endure some plowing and weed plucking.
Integrity
Life is full of struggles. Most of the major ones are not the ones visible to everyone but those that we wrestle with internally. I heard a definition once of the word integrity: Our response in thought or action to our own thoughts or the actions of others. Let that sink in for a moment. . .
In the Bible, Proverbs 23:7 says it this way: “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he”. Now let that sink in. Over the past months I have wrestled with these things. Through deeply personal and also highly visible circumstances I have found my own integrity called into question and my thoughts and actions put on “trial”, not in the literal courtroom but in the court of popular opinion.
I have also put myself on “trial” searching my heart for intent, desires and thoughts.
I did not like what I discovered.
Unfortunately in life we cannot always predict what we will do in certain circumstances. We like to think what we would do, and of course, is always to act nobly and faithful. Yet I have found over the years that I fall short of that time and time again. Yes, sometimes I do respond rightly but sometimes I dont. I have found that the longer the struggle, the more difficult it is to always respond correctly, to keep the thoughts from going ary and to pursue the righteus path.
So the obvious solution would be to avoid long struggles, but I find that is an impossibility. Sometimes the greatest victories or losses comes from long and deep struggles. While in college I was given a book to read by my leadership professor, “As A Man Thinketh”. In the book the author says “Circumstance does not make the man, it reveals him to himself.” As I have looked at what my present circumstances have revealed to me, I do not like the revelation.
The Bible does a good job in summing it up in the book of Romans, chapter 3 verse 10: “As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one” and in verse 23, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”. If the Bible is true, then I am not alone in this struggle. We all are struggling today or have struggled recently.
My thoughts for you today is that as you go through these struggles that you do not walk through them alone. Find a good friend – remember they struggle just as much as you. Consider what you focus your thoughts on. A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts.
Make Him Your Choice
There is a voice that calls out loud,
“Where is your God now?”
There is a voice that mocks, ridicules and scorns,
ripping your heart and making it torn
There is a voice that causes confusion and doubt
and makes you wonder what it is all about
There is a voice that is the enemy of your soul
that struggles and tries to take control.
But remember and never forget,
your God is greater than all of that!
He made the world in which we walk,
Gave us life and the ability to talk
Shows His mercy and power every day
In incredible and miraculous ways.
His is stronger than any other voice,
when in doubt, make Him your choice!
I Cried Out To God
I CRIED OUT TO GOD
I cried out to God, but He did not answer me.
I cried out to God, but His face I could not see.
I cried out to God, asking why and how this could be.
I cried out to God, wanting to be set free.
I cried out to God, from the depths of my sin.
I cried out to God, and His voice broke in.
I cried out to God, and He said “I’m your friend”.
I cried out to God, and He said “This is not the end”.
I cried out to God, and He said “For all this I died”.
I cried out to God, and together we cried!
written by Buck Nov. 8, 2009
